Suffering

Going through this journey of losing Jonah, I have experienced more than my fair share of suffering.  The shock of being told that my child would not live.  Carrying him for 3.5 months while enduring the overwhelming weight of a fatal diagnosis.  Watching him die in my arms, minutes after he was born.  Burying my child and living with his loss.  Facing the reality that my family is forever altered because Jonah is missing.  It wasn't supposed to be this way!

It has been close to five months since our son passed away.  I am just starting to feel somewhat like my old self, but I know I will never be the same person I once was.  It feels like the person I was before has been ripped apart, and is now being reassembled and repurposed into someone new.  I know that God is remaking me through this experience, and I don't yet know who I will be at the end of this journey.  But I trust that he has a purpose for me, and that he will use my suffering for good.

In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ.  After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  (1 Peter 5:10 NLT)

Through our journey, my husband and I knew that we were called to use our son's life as a testimony to our faith in Christ.  Even while I was still pregnant with Jonah, we knew that we were called to share our story.  As debilitating as the pain was at times, we were comforted by our faith and hope in our Savior.  We knew that later on, we would have to share our story so that we, in turn, could be an encouragement to others.  We all will endure suffering in this world, and I hope that you will never have to go through losing a child like we did.  But when your time of suffering does come, turn to God as a source of comfort.  His peace will carry you through. 

All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others  are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.  So when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit and salvation!  For when God comforts us, it is  so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you.  Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.  We are confident that as you share in suffering, you will also share God's comfort.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-7 NLT)

I recently came across this passage during a Bible study group with my friends.  Though the context is about the persecution of early Christians, it still applies today as we all experience suffering.  Though I am not one for speaking publicly, I do enjoy writing and this blog is the result of that.  I hope that my writing will be a comfort and source of encouragement to others.  I pray that God will give you comfort and turn your suffering into something good and beautiful.

And may you fight for redemption of your pain so that you can say, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering." (Genesis 41:52 NLT)