Scars

When I was pregnant with Jonah, I kind of had the option to choose a c-section delivery because of our circumstances.  Knowing how difficult it was to deliver Alice, I didn't think I could go through the emotional trauma of delivering Jonah the same way, knowing that he wouldn't live.  There was also a good chance that Jonah wouldn't survive a vaginal delivery, and would be stillborn.  We really wanted to meet our son alive, if only for a few moments, and a c-section delivery would give us the best chance of meeting him alive.  It turned out that Jonah was breech and it was medically necessary to deliver that way.

Even knowing that it would be a difficult recovery, I wanted a c-section because I wanted the scar.  I wanted proof that my son existed in the form of a scar on my body.

I have been listening to a lot of Mandisa albums lately while I walk on the canal.  (Her music is my favorite right now!)  She has a song called "What Scars Are For" on her "Overcomer" album from 2013.  This song really speaks to me because of what I have been through with Jonah.  The physical scar is a reminder of God's faithfulness in bringing me through a time of trial.

"What Scars Are For"
These scars aren't pretty, but they're a part of me
And will not ever fade away
These marks tell a story of me down in the valley
And how You reached in with Your grace
And healed me

They remind me of Your faithfulness and all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness is something You can use
They show me where I've been and that I'm not there anymore
That's what scars, that's what scars are for

Erase, rewind, wish I could every time
The hurt, the pain cuts so deep
But when I'm weak, You're strong, and in Your power I can carry on
And my scars say that You won't ever leave

They remind me of Your faithfulness and all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness is something You can use
They show me where I've been and that I'm not there anymore
That's what scars, that's what scars are for

I see it on the cross
The nails You took for me
Scars can change the world
Scars can set me free

They remind me of Your faithfulness and all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness is something You can use
They show me where I've been and that I'm not there anymore
That's what scars, that's what scars are for